It's been a hectic week. Between work, kiddos, and one helluva blowout with my father (such a long story. Some day I might find the strength to write about my relationship with my parents - however that day isnt today.), I've barely had time to breathe, let alone sit down and write.
I've started working on Dex's birth story, just because I don't want the details to fade. That day was one of the happiest of my life, and I want to hold onto every last detail forever.
I did manage to put up our Christmas tree this evening! Dex loooooves Christmas trees, and was super happy to see we have one too! I still need to it down and fluff up the little pink 3 foot artificial tree that Kalli puts up in her room, but I'll deal with that later on tonight. Other than that I've been spending time with my kids and my husband today. After the blowout yesterday I needed to be close to them. My father drinks, and when he's had a few he is volatile. Part of what happened last night was that he verbally attacked me, my character, my husband and his character, and decided that since he has money and we're not even close to loaded that he would threaten to hire a lawyer and try to take my children from me. What he *doesn't* know, is that I already have a kick ass attorney on retainer, and not having millions in the bank doesn't make me a terrible parent, and he would have to prove me unfit for the courts to even consider taking my children. Just because he was pissed off that my car broke down and I had to call him for help and it interrupted his beer time isn't a valid reason. That and I'll be honest- I dont know of a single judge that is gonna hand a 9 year old Aspie and a 7 month old infant to a 68 year old alcoholic with a history of emotional and physical abuse. Ack, I've already gone off on a tangent, haven't I? Anyway, even after years of therapy to overcome the emotional bullshit that I carry around as a result of my childhood, I cracked a bit last night, and all of the harsh words and memories of being hit, slapped, thrown to the floor and choked came rushing back and I had a hard time regrouping. Being safely locked away in my home with my kids and my ever supportive and loving husband (who I thought was going to kill my father after his attack on me, but certainly when he threatened to take our kids!), was what I needed today. Noone is ever going to seperate us. I need to remember that.